Ten things I believe about Roger Clemens:
1. He has never used performance-enhancing drugs of any kind.
2. The fact that his wife has admitted using HGH doesn't hurt his argument that he never used performance-enhancing drugs.
3. Andy Pettitte (who admits using PEDs) did in fact "misremember" a PED-related conversation with Roger Clemens.
4. He gave his boys really cool names (Koby, Kory, Kacy, Kody) that don't reflect any self-importance.
5. He thought Mike Piazza's broken bat was a ball when it came flying toward him in the 2000 World Series.
6. He thought he was playing wiffle in the back yard of my childhood home when Mike Piazza's bat--I mean ball--came toward him. (See, when I played with my brothers as a child, you could pick up a batted ball and throw it at a baserunner. If you hit him between bases, he was out.)
7. He did NOT have an inappropriate relationship with that woman, Miss McCready, even if she says he did.
8. The success, adoration by millions of fans, and nearly incalculable riches have NOT gone to his head and skewed his view of his fellow man; we will believe what he says because he said it was the truth. Why wouldn't we believe him?
9. He has a cool haircut and is a smart dresser.
10. He earned his salary in 2007 for the Yankees. For the record, his salary was $28,000,022 (and how clever it is to negotiate your jersey number as the last two digits of your salary!) for the year, prorated to $18.5 million for the part of the season he did not play. He made 17 starts, went 6-6, and pitched almost 100 innings, with a 4.18 ERA. Who wouldn't pay $18.5 million for that?
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
No Offense, but Cowboy Up!
"No offense, but..."
I know I am not the first to make this observation--I have heard others before me. But this whole 'no offense' thing really kills me. Apparently, as long as you preface what you say with those words, you are free to offend. You can say anything. Well, there do appear to be limits. I've never heard, "No offense, but you're a completely worthless waste of human flesh. Go away. No one likes you." Not yet, anyway.
But I did hear this: Guy runs into my wife--his high school classmate--while she was visiting some friends in Texas a couple of years ago. They had not seen each other for years, and I don't doubt it was good for him to see her (and vice versa). I am sure the butterflies started flitting in his stomach as he began to long for the good old days. And then he stammers, "No offense to your husband, but you are looking hot!"
When I heard this I was not offended. Should I have been? Who was he offending? Me? Come on, I share his opinion. What I think he should have said is, "No offense to you, but..." She should have taken offense, if anyone. I mean, what's she supposed to say in return? "Thanks! You, too! Want to go to the prom?"
But that's not really what I am getting at. Because as much as I think the use of 'no offense' is lame, I am taking advantage of it now: No offense to anyone who may possibly be offended by what I write next--misusers of the verb 'to lie', hacks, cowboys, the Boston Red Sox--but this is how I feel.
I saw a bumper sticker on the rear window of a pickup truck recently that read as follows:
"Are you going to COWBOY UP, or just lay there and BLEED?"
First things first: While I understand that the whole lay/lie thing is difficult to grasp (apparently), could someone, somewhere, at some point going forward, please get it right? Is it too much to ask? Sure, 'lay' is now "acceptable" due to its overwhelming use, but it is non-standard, nonetheless. I never hear someone say 'lie' when they should. Never. I know I am a pain about this (I understand from the look my wife gave me the last time I corrected her that the "acceptable" form is just fine. But she won't be mad if she reads this--I said "no offense" already!) but I would appreciate someone on my side. Put in the time, figure it out, and use it properly. And don't correct me when I use the verb correctly. (I can't tell you how many of my English major peers at BSU would correct my "as I lay in bed last night" to "laid" when commenting on my papers. Also, use 'have lain' sometime and watch what your listener does.)
Next, it's a rip-off! I don't know if the writers of Tombstone coined "You gonna do somethin', or just stand there and bleed?" or not, but it highlights one of the best scenes in the movie (the one that starts "Is that 'Old Dog Tray'? That sounds like 'Old Dog Tray' to me" is right up there). In copying this phrase, the creators of this bumper sticker have shown lack of originality and also lack of cleverness in their bastardization of such a fine question. Come up with something else, fellas.
And does "cowboy up" mean something, really? Be tough? Um, no. I mean, be a cowboy if you want. That's your choice. But I don't want to be a cowboy, I don't want to be associated with cowboys, and I don't look to cowboys as a model of toughness and grit. When I think of cowboys, I think of those scumbags from high school who discretely chewed tobacco in class (I know I never could tell what that lump was and why they always pursed their lips) and who stopped mouthing off at someone any time they were outnumbered. And riding a bull and roping a goat don't make you tough; it takes grit to get up off the football field when you get your clock cleaned just like it does when a bull eats your lunch. "Oh yeah? A bull might stomp on you and break your bones." Well, bones get broken in other sports, too. And in both cases, you are done for the night (or longer).
Finally, the fact that the Boston Red Sox used "Cowboy up!" as a rallying cry in 2003 is utterly stupid. Yes, Red Sox players, shake off the adversity you are going through! It must be really hard to be paid obscene amounts of money to play baseball every day in beautiful weather. Baseball! Those guaranteed contracts must be a real pain. Elaborate post-game meals and personal trainers and massage therapists are annoying, too. You have it rough, and it must really hurt. I know you want to give up (and still collect your salary). But hang in there. Cowboy up!
Or you can just lay there.
I know I am not the first to make this observation--I have heard others before me. But this whole 'no offense' thing really kills me. Apparently, as long as you preface what you say with those words, you are free to offend. You can say anything. Well, there do appear to be limits. I've never heard, "No offense, but you're a completely worthless waste of human flesh. Go away. No one likes you." Not yet, anyway.
But I did hear this: Guy runs into my wife--his high school classmate--while she was visiting some friends in Texas a couple of years ago. They had not seen each other for years, and I don't doubt it was good for him to see her (and vice versa). I am sure the butterflies started flitting in his stomach as he began to long for the good old days. And then he stammers, "No offense to your husband, but you are looking hot!"
When I heard this I was not offended. Should I have been? Who was he offending? Me? Come on, I share his opinion. What I think he should have said is, "No offense to you, but..." She should have taken offense, if anyone. I mean, what's she supposed to say in return? "Thanks! You, too! Want to go to the prom?"
But that's not really what I am getting at. Because as much as I think the use of 'no offense' is lame, I am taking advantage of it now: No offense to anyone who may possibly be offended by what I write next--misusers of the verb 'to lie', hacks, cowboys, the Boston Red Sox--but this is how I feel.
I saw a bumper sticker on the rear window of a pickup truck recently that read as follows:
"Are you going to COWBOY UP, or just lay there and BLEED?"
First things first: While I understand that the whole lay/lie thing is difficult to grasp (apparently), could someone, somewhere, at some point going forward, please get it right? Is it too much to ask? Sure, 'lay' is now "acceptable" due to its overwhelming use, but it is non-standard, nonetheless. I never hear someone say 'lie' when they should. Never. I know I am a pain about this (I understand from the look my wife gave me the last time I corrected her that the "acceptable" form is just fine. But she won't be mad if she reads this--I said "no offense" already!) but I would appreciate someone on my side. Put in the time, figure it out, and use it properly. And don't correct me when I use the verb correctly. (I can't tell you how many of my English major peers at BSU would correct my "as I lay in bed last night" to "laid" when commenting on my papers. Also, use 'have lain' sometime and watch what your listener does.)
Next, it's a rip-off! I don't know if the writers of Tombstone coined "You gonna do somethin', or just stand there and bleed?" or not, but it highlights one of the best scenes in the movie (the one that starts "Is that 'Old Dog Tray'? That sounds like 'Old Dog Tray' to me" is right up there). In copying this phrase, the creators of this bumper sticker have shown lack of originality and also lack of cleverness in their bastardization of such a fine question. Come up with something else, fellas.
And does "cowboy up" mean something, really? Be tough? Um, no. I mean, be a cowboy if you want. That's your choice. But I don't want to be a cowboy, I don't want to be associated with cowboys, and I don't look to cowboys as a model of toughness and grit. When I think of cowboys, I think of those scumbags from high school who discretely chewed tobacco in class (I know I never could tell what that lump was and why they always pursed their lips) and who stopped mouthing off at someone any time they were outnumbered. And riding a bull and roping a goat don't make you tough; it takes grit to get up off the football field when you get your clock cleaned just like it does when a bull eats your lunch. "Oh yeah? A bull might stomp on you and break your bones." Well, bones get broken in other sports, too. And in both cases, you are done for the night (or longer).
Finally, the fact that the Boston Red Sox used "Cowboy up!" as a rallying cry in 2003 is utterly stupid. Yes, Red Sox players, shake off the adversity you are going through! It must be really hard to be paid obscene amounts of money to play baseball every day in beautiful weather. Baseball! Those guaranteed contracts must be a real pain. Elaborate post-game meals and personal trainers and massage therapists are annoying, too. You have it rough, and it must really hurt. I know you want to give up (and still collect your salary). But hang in there. Cowboy up!
Or you can just lay there.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Mexico and Movie Reviews
Yes, I am spending a few days by my lonesome in Mexico. I left for Mexico on Friday the 11th and, whereas on April 9th it snowed in Boise, it is plenty warm here, in the 80s on Monday the 14th. I have gone to the beach for several hours every day, so as to get my sunburn on. So far it is working. I have made three promises to myself since I got here, and I intend to keep two of them. They are: go to the beach every day, not stop to rest when walking up the hill back to Casa Miramar (and mirar the mar it does), and start a workout regimen when I get back home in order to develop my arms and upper body. Now if I can only decide which two to do.
My daily schedule is quite simple: I roll upstairs around 8:30 every morning, and have breakfast. After loafing around, reading, or checking e-mail for a few minutes, I pack up my things and head to the beach. The first few minutes I am there are spent digging the hole directly in front of where I place my mat. You see, I dig a large hole, about two feet deep, so I can put my feet in. This makes it like a little chair for me as I read (right now Tess of the d'Urbervilles), watch in a detached manner my fellow man, and eat fish on a stick with little tortillas. I intersperse a few trips in to the ocean to catch a wave or just cool off. I never go to the bathroom in there. I am sure no one else does, either.
After a little while I pack up my gear and begin the grueling seven minute trek back to Casa Miramar. By the time I get there I am ready for a dip in the water again. Fortunately there is a pool right outside my door. Dinner is et at around 6 or 7, and then I read and chit chat with the folks here for a bit. Then it is back down to my lodgings. I read some but have watched one movie every night I have been here.
The first night it was 'La Otra Mujer Boleyn' or 'Las Hermanas Boleyn' or whatever it is in English. (Funny how this is already on DVD in Mexico, when I believe it is still in theaters in the states. And they don't bother cluttering up the disk with any artwork; all it says on it is 'DVD-R' and '8x' and I don't think that has anything to do with the movie.) Anyway, here is a newsflash to anyone who didn't know this: Natalie Portman is not British. Neither is Scarlett Johansson, but she is a tad better at the accent than Padme. And they cast a nice looking, trim fellow to play Henry VIII. Funny. I always heard he was fat. My review of the movie? Four street dogs (out of ten possible).
Next night was The Lost City. Seen it? Andy Garcia directs and stars in this film about the revolution in Cuba that put Castro in power. Okay, so it appears this was a very personal thing as he was in fact born in Cuba and left for the US as a child, but stick to acting, buddy. Take out some of the 'fluffy' scenes and stick to the story. And quit making it seem like it is over, only to continue on and on. And on. Also, a lot of the characters were Hispanic, which is nice, but some of them weren't, and they had to fake Spanish language accents, which was lame. I mean, the entire movie is in English, and they all talk with accents. What is the point of this? Either make the movie in Spanish and provide subtitles or have the thing be in English with no accents. For me, a little of the reality was lost when Batista and others, including Castro, were speaking English. My rating: six roosters crowing in the afternoon (again out of ten).
Last night: Persuasion. I missed this a couple of times when it was on the local public TV channel, you know, 'Masterpiece' or something like that. Actually, I saw it was on, tuned in, lost interest, and tuned out. Now I don't know why. I really liked it, which is not hard to believe. Only a couple of strange things about it: whoever directed it kept having Anne look cleverly into the camera at different times. Not sure what he was going for. Also, when she finally tells Captain Wentworth she will marry him, the scene shows her leaning and stretching and reaching up to kiss him for about twenty seconds. And it looks like she is going to eat him. Really. Watch it and see what I mean. But really this one had no chance of me not liking it. England. Estates. Snobs. Silly people. Decent people and creeps alike getting what they deserve. Gotta love Austen. Rating: nine cinder blocks.
By the way, the O's are still in first place. It won't last long so I am relishing every second.
My daily schedule is quite simple: I roll upstairs around 8:30 every morning, and have breakfast. After loafing around, reading, or checking e-mail for a few minutes, I pack up my things and head to the beach. The first few minutes I am there are spent digging the hole directly in front of where I place my mat. You see, I dig a large hole, about two feet deep, so I can put my feet in. This makes it like a little chair for me as I read (right now Tess of the d'Urbervilles), watch in a detached manner my fellow man, and eat fish on a stick with little tortillas. I intersperse a few trips in to the ocean to catch a wave or just cool off. I never go to the bathroom in there. I am sure no one else does, either.
After a little while I pack up my gear and begin the grueling seven minute trek back to Casa Miramar. By the time I get there I am ready for a dip in the water again. Fortunately there is a pool right outside my door. Dinner is et at around 6 or 7, and then I read and chit chat with the folks here for a bit. Then it is back down to my lodgings. I read some but have watched one movie every night I have been here.
The first night it was 'La Otra Mujer Boleyn' or 'Las Hermanas Boleyn' or whatever it is in English. (Funny how this is already on DVD in Mexico, when I believe it is still in theaters in the states. And they don't bother cluttering up the disk with any artwork; all it says on it is 'DVD-R' and '8x' and I don't think that has anything to do with the movie.) Anyway, here is a newsflash to anyone who didn't know this: Natalie Portman is not British. Neither is Scarlett Johansson, but she is a tad better at the accent than Padme. And they cast a nice looking, trim fellow to play Henry VIII. Funny. I always heard he was fat. My review of the movie? Four street dogs (out of ten possible).
Next night was The Lost City. Seen it? Andy Garcia directs and stars in this film about the revolution in Cuba that put Castro in power. Okay, so it appears this was a very personal thing as he was in fact born in Cuba and left for the US as a child, but stick to acting, buddy. Take out some of the 'fluffy' scenes and stick to the story. And quit making it seem like it is over, only to continue on and on. And on. Also, a lot of the characters were Hispanic, which is nice, but some of them weren't, and they had to fake Spanish language accents, which was lame. I mean, the entire movie is in English, and they all talk with accents. What is the point of this? Either make the movie in Spanish and provide subtitles or have the thing be in English with no accents. For me, a little of the reality was lost when Batista and others, including Castro, were speaking English. My rating: six roosters crowing in the afternoon (again out of ten).
Last night: Persuasion. I missed this a couple of times when it was on the local public TV channel, you know, 'Masterpiece' or something like that. Actually, I saw it was on, tuned in, lost interest, and tuned out. Now I don't know why. I really liked it, which is not hard to believe. Only a couple of strange things about it: whoever directed it kept having Anne look cleverly into the camera at different times. Not sure what he was going for. Also, when she finally tells Captain Wentworth she will marry him, the scene shows her leaning and stretching and reaching up to kiss him for about twenty seconds. And it looks like she is going to eat him. Really. Watch it and see what I mean. But really this one had no chance of me not liking it. England. Estates. Snobs. Silly people. Decent people and creeps alike getting what they deserve. Gotta love Austen. Rating: nine cinder blocks.
By the way, the O's are still in first place. It won't last long so I am relishing every second.
Monday, April 7, 2008
NCAA Championship
I wrote the following about the NCAA tournament in a previous post:
One more [prediction]. Four of the ESPN experts have Kansas winning it all: read here.
Won't happen. Mark it down.
Apparently no one marked it down, 'cause it just happened. And I found myself, simply because I had predicted they would not win, rooting against Kansas when I don't like Memphis, either. I probably would have rooted for either UCLA or UNC, but KU and Memphis bug me. Oh, well...the first few rounds were exciting enough. I don't care who you are, watching Davidson storm through three rounds and then give Kansas all it wanted was pretty awesome.
On an unrelated note, I think they should end the Major League Baseball regular season right now and send whoever is ahead in each division to the playoffs. I don't even know who that would be. Like, in the American League East, who is in first place right now, anyway? Don't click here. Whoever it is should be crowned division champs right now. I don't have the patience to wait through 156 more games.
I know you are all chomping at the bit for more, so stay tuned: I will have another post up here within a couple days. Peace.
One more [prediction]. Four of the ESPN experts have Kansas winning it all: read here.
Won't happen. Mark it down.
Apparently no one marked it down, 'cause it just happened. And I found myself, simply because I had predicted they would not win, rooting against Kansas when I don't like Memphis, either. I probably would have rooted for either UCLA or UNC, but KU and Memphis bug me. Oh, well...the first few rounds were exciting enough. I don't care who you are, watching Davidson storm through three rounds and then give Kansas all it wanted was pretty awesome.
On an unrelated note, I think they should end the Major League Baseball regular season right now and send whoever is ahead in each division to the playoffs. I don't even know who that would be. Like, in the American League East, who is in first place right now, anyway? Don't click here. Whoever it is should be crowned division champs right now. I don't have the patience to wait through 156 more games.
I know you are all chomping at the bit for more, so stay tuned: I will have another post up here within a couple days. Peace.
Friday, March 21, 2008
More NCAA tournament...and Utah!
Just got back from a little Spring Break trip to southern Utah to see some kinfolk, so into my thoughts about the NCAA tournament so far I will sprinkle in some items of interest (to me, anyway) from our journeyings in Zion (literally).
First, we went down to Avis to rent a mini-van during the break from games on Friday; I was home in plenty of time to see BSU get clobbered by an impressive looking Louisville team--admittedly more impressive now after they trounced Oklahoma as well. When we got to Avis, we were informed they had no mini-vans. The nearest thing they had was "one of those SUVs you see out there in the back row. Will that be all right?" It was. So we drove the Chrysler Aspen (check it out here) on our trip. Very nice--had 900 miles on it when we got it, room for eight, fancy interior, and Sirius satellite radio.
Sirius satellite radio. I know, I know, it is old news by now, but those of you who know me know I tend to be a little on the cheap side (for which I am sometimes treated as if I lived in Cheapside, if you know what I mean. And if you don't, go read your Austen!) So I don't have Sirius (yet). I may have it soon. No more listening to Colin Cowherd, Caves and Prater, the Budlightidahosteelheadshockeypregameshow, or any of the other stupid crap on the only Sports talk station in town. And FM radio? Please. I can see Sirius in my future. And driving my car more than I currently do.
Which brings me to this: What was the best decade for music? Don't waste your time, because there is not a counterargument you can make that will sway me. The eighties. Period. Don't react, don't resist. Accept it. Because when I say "best" I mean everything: the best stuff you like, the best garbage, and the best utter crap. It has it all. Get Sirius and listen to the 80s channel or "The Wave" during a ten or eleven hour drive. You will be convinced. I can't even begin to describe the true enjoyment I had listening to Sirius radio over the last few days, but here are a few high(and low)-lights:
"I got Spuds McKenzie. Alex from Stroh's. They won't leave my dog alone with that Medina, pal." - Tone Loc "Funky Cold Medina
"Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, himitsu wo shiri tai" - Styx "Mr. Roboto" (I defy you to youtube that song and listen to it in its entirety without laughing out loud. I mean, someone seriously wrote, composed and released that song?)
Skid Row "I Remember You"
Adam and the Ants "Stand and Deliver"
Missing Persons "Walking in L.A."
Loverboy "Lovin' Every Minute of It" (Nice subtlety, guys.)
That's enough. You figure out ones I like and which ones I didn't.
On our trip we drove through Zion National Park, where I saw something interesting:
The part I find interesting is "If attacked, fight back." Never seen that before. And it makes me want to ask the animals of the world to come to some agreement about what to do when startled by a human. We play dead if chased by a bear, and fight back against mountain lions. If I come across something that says I should run toward an animal to scare it away, that will be too much. I might get confused and rush a bear, or play dead for a raccoon.
Now, more NCAA tournament. I guess I picked a few too many first round upsets, but I didn't get hurt too much. As you see below, I have 13 of the 16 left. And I am especially proud of Villanova and Davidson in the Midwest making me look like Nostradamus.
I am tempted to make new picks based on what teams are now left and how they have played, but I will stick with what I have. I am afraid of Louisville vs. Tennessee, and West Virginia looks good vs. Xavier, but overall I like what I have. I tried not to pick with my heart too much (see? I picked BYU and BSU to lose) but I may have overdone with Wisconsin over Kansas (I hate them). And although Arizona laid an egg, I am glad someone bounced Duke. I still like UNC in the East and all the way to the title, but who knows what will happen in the South. Any of the four still in it could come through and I wouldn't be surprised. Just hope Michigan State doesn't screw things up for me. If Memphis can get through, I think they will beat whoever comes from the West. UCLA had to work too hard against A&M for me to believe in them. And Xavier playing for the title? Doesn't sound right, does it? That's why it won't happen.
I will be planted on my couch for the games again tonight (and Friday and Saturday and Sunday). Wish me luck. Or tell me why I am crazy.
First, we went down to Avis to rent a mini-van during the break from games on Friday; I was home in plenty of time to see BSU get clobbered by an impressive looking Louisville team--admittedly more impressive now after they trounced Oklahoma as well. When we got to Avis, we were informed they had no mini-vans. The nearest thing they had was "one of those SUVs you see out there in the back row. Will that be all right?" It was. So we drove the Chrysler Aspen (check it out here) on our trip. Very nice--had 900 miles on it when we got it, room for eight, fancy interior, and Sirius satellite radio.
Sirius satellite radio. I know, I know, it is old news by now, but those of you who know me know I tend to be a little on the cheap side (for which I am sometimes treated as if I lived in Cheapside, if you know what I mean. And if you don't, go read your Austen!) So I don't have Sirius (yet). I may have it soon. No more listening to Colin Cowherd, Caves and Prater, the Budlightidahosteelheadshockeypregameshow, or any of the other stupid crap on the only Sports talk station in town. And FM radio? Please. I can see Sirius in my future. And driving my car more than I currently do.
Which brings me to this: What was the best decade for music? Don't waste your time, because there is not a counterargument you can make that will sway me. The eighties. Period. Don't react, don't resist. Accept it. Because when I say "best" I mean everything: the best stuff you like, the best garbage, and the best utter crap. It has it all. Get Sirius and listen to the 80s channel or "The Wave" during a ten or eleven hour drive. You will be convinced. I can't even begin to describe the true enjoyment I had listening to Sirius radio over the last few days, but here are a few high(and low)-lights:
"I got Spuds McKenzie. Alex from Stroh's. They won't leave my dog alone with that Medina, pal." - Tone Loc "Funky Cold Medina
"Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, himitsu wo shiri tai" - Styx "Mr. Roboto" (I defy you to youtube that song and listen to it in its entirety without laughing out loud. I mean, someone seriously wrote, composed and released that song?)
Skid Row "I Remember You"
Adam and the Ants "Stand and Deliver"
Missing Persons "Walking in L.A."
Loverboy "Lovin' Every Minute of It" (Nice subtlety, guys.)
That's enough. You figure out ones I like and which ones I didn't.
On our trip we drove through Zion National Park, where I saw something interesting:
The part I find interesting is "If attacked, fight back." Never seen that before. And it makes me want to ask the animals of the world to come to some agreement about what to do when startled by a human. We play dead if chased by a bear, and fight back against mountain lions. If I come across something that says I should run toward an animal to scare it away, that will be too much. I might get confused and rush a bear, or play dead for a raccoon.
Now, more NCAA tournament. I guess I picked a few too many first round upsets, but I didn't get hurt too much. As you see below, I have 13 of the 16 left. And I am especially proud of Villanova and Davidson in the Midwest making me look like Nostradamus.
I am tempted to make new picks based on what teams are now left and how they have played, but I will stick with what I have. I am afraid of Louisville vs. Tennessee, and West Virginia looks good vs. Xavier, but overall I like what I have. I tried not to pick with my heart too much (see? I picked BYU and BSU to lose) but I may have overdone with Wisconsin over Kansas (I hate them). And although Arizona laid an egg, I am glad someone bounced Duke. I still like UNC in the East and all the way to the title, but who knows what will happen in the South. Any of the four still in it could come through and I wouldn't be surprised. Just hope Michigan State doesn't screw things up for me. If Memphis can get through, I think they will beat whoever comes from the West. UCLA had to work too hard against A&M for me to believe in them. And Xavier playing for the title? Doesn't sound right, does it? That's why it won't happen.I will be planted on my couch for the games again tonight (and Friday and Saturday and Sunday). Wish me luck. Or tell me why I am crazy.
Monday, March 17, 2008
NCAA Tournament
I got this e-mail from someone who was apparently not very impressed with my last post:
"Hey Phyllis, your an idiot. Nice call on Boise State there. WAC tourny champs, baby! This team has the talent to do some damage in the big dance. I see them making it to the sweet 16. Go broncos!"
So let me respond: First of all, I think I said I couldn't see how BSU could beat Utah State. That's right. I couldn't see it. I doubt anyone else saw Garner coming out and killing it like he did. Dude hardly plays all year, comes in and scores ten points in about five minutes, and then promptly returns to obscurity on the bench. Crazy. If he doesn't do that, they don't win that game. Period.
And notice that Greene did not play in the USU game? Good call, Graham. So not only did "Nascar" Greene not put in his 10-15 minutes of substandard play, Garner took his place and excelled. Amazing.
I guess I am glad I made no prediction about the New Mexico State game, since I would have been doubtful BSU could pull it off in Las Cruces. But pull it off they did, and I am duly impressed. The one area of concern from that game (which will help me answer the e-mailer's claim BSU can make some noise in the tournament) is that the bench scored a whopping six points in fifty-five minutes. I maintain that having five good players is nice, but I think they need some support (perhaps someone will come in and pull a Garner in the tournament) in order to beat anyone they might face in Alabama. Again, I will be rooting and hoping and yelling, but the bracket I filled out says "LOU" right below "St. Joe's." (For the record, my two youngest sons stepped up and picked Boise State in the first round--let's see what happens.)
Ahhh...The NCAA tournament: I look forward to it all year. I put in for time off at my job so I can soak it all in for twelve hours two days in a row. I will order some pizza, put on my sweats, and stare at college basketball in HDTV until my eyes burn. But although I am excitedly waiting for Thursday to get here, I know what will happen. "Alas! how far the promise of anticipation exceeds the pleasure of possession!" Rosalie Ashby said that to Agnes in Anne Brontë's Agnes Grey, and something similar will happen to me. Teams I hate will win, others I want to win will not, and I will be mad at myself at how much I eat. Then Friday's games will be over and I will survey the carnage that my brackets have become. Then there is the friend issue: I have none, so I will be doing all this by myself in my living room. My family doesn't even really like to watch any of the games, either. So I am trying to really enjoy these last few hours I have anticipating the pleasure before I experience (or possess) it.
A few quick predictions before I sign off: You already know what BYU will do. And I won't bore you with my whole bracket, but I have picked the following first round upsets (10 seed or higher winning): St. Joseph's over Oklahoma. Villanova over Clemson. Davidson over Gonzaga. St. Mary's over Miami. Western Kentucky over Drake. Baylor over Purdue. Arizona over West Virginia. Yes, I am a fan of the underdog. Who do you have?
One more. Four of the ESPN experts have Kansas winning it all: read here.
Won't happen. Mark it down.
"Hey Phyllis, your an idiot. Nice call on Boise State there. WAC tourny champs, baby! This team has the talent to do some damage in the big dance. I see them making it to the sweet 16. Go broncos!"
So let me respond: First of all, I think I said I couldn't see how BSU could beat Utah State. That's right. I couldn't see it. I doubt anyone else saw Garner coming out and killing it like he did. Dude hardly plays all year, comes in and scores ten points in about five minutes, and then promptly returns to obscurity on the bench. Crazy. If he doesn't do that, they don't win that game. Period.
And notice that Greene did not play in the USU game? Good call, Graham. So not only did "Nascar" Greene not put in his 10-15 minutes of substandard play, Garner took his place and excelled. Amazing.
I guess I am glad I made no prediction about the New Mexico State game, since I would have been doubtful BSU could pull it off in Las Cruces. But pull it off they did, and I am duly impressed. The one area of concern from that game (which will help me answer the e-mailer's claim BSU can make some noise in the tournament) is that the bench scored a whopping six points in fifty-five minutes. I maintain that having five good players is nice, but I think they need some support (perhaps someone will come in and pull a Garner in the tournament) in order to beat anyone they might face in Alabama. Again, I will be rooting and hoping and yelling, but the bracket I filled out says "LOU" right below "St. Joe's." (For the record, my two youngest sons stepped up and picked Boise State in the first round--let's see what happens.)
Ahhh...The NCAA tournament: I look forward to it all year. I put in for time off at my job so I can soak it all in for twelve hours two days in a row. I will order some pizza, put on my sweats, and stare at college basketball in HDTV until my eyes burn. But although I am excitedly waiting for Thursday to get here, I know what will happen. "Alas! how far the promise of anticipation exceeds the pleasure of possession!" Rosalie Ashby said that to Agnes in Anne Brontë's Agnes Grey, and something similar will happen to me. Teams I hate will win, others I want to win will not, and I will be mad at myself at how much I eat. Then Friday's games will be over and I will survey the carnage that my brackets have become. Then there is the friend issue: I have none, so I will be doing all this by myself in my living room. My family doesn't even really like to watch any of the games, either. So I am trying to really enjoy these last few hours I have anticipating the pleasure before I experience (or possess) it.
A few quick predictions before I sign off: You already know what BYU will do. And I won't bore you with my whole bracket, but I have picked the following first round upsets (10 seed or higher winning): St. Joseph's over Oklahoma. Villanova over Clemson. Davidson over Gonzaga. St. Mary's over Miami. Western Kentucky over Drake. Baylor over Purdue. Arizona over West Virginia. Yes, I am a fan of the underdog. Who do you have?
One more. Four of the ESPN experts have Kansas winning it all: read here.
Won't happen. Mark it down.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Career Change
I'm thinking I need one. It occurred to me the other day when I was listening to Colin Cowherd on the way to work. (What a nimrod, by the way. And couldn't he have changed his stage name at some point? I cringe every time I hear it.) Anyway, he and Doug Gottlieb (now there's a name) were talking about the NCAA tournament. It got me thinking.
I've given a couple of careers a got shot: I've worked for more than ten years now as a Computer Technician/Network Administrator/IT Guy and have learned a great deal. I know how to reset passwords, plug things in properly, and believe someone when they say they had nothing to do with what is currently the problem. But can I say I love what I do? Not really.
I worked for a few years in Texas as a long-haul truck dispatcher, too. That was an education unto itself. I listened to gravelly voices on the phone say, "Come on, man, I don't get paid to sit. I get paid to roll." Or "Gimme something with lotsa miles and not a lot of drops." I even heard more than I cared to about the goings on of some seedy truck stop somewhere. But aside from the pager going off in the middle of the night and the stress I carried around wondering if all the loads where going to be delivered on time (for some reason, I was responsible to Sales whenever a driver was delayed or if our Shipping department was behind), it was the trip out to our scales to see why a truck was overweight on his tandem axle that told me to get out of there. I sat and watched as the driver locked up his rear brakes while his buddy crouched under the trailer to remove the locking pin for his sliding axles. He stood under there holding the pin out as the driver gassed it gently (if eighty-thousand pounds can be moved gently) to slide the trailer forward. That was enough. Let's get back to Idaho, I said.
So what do I want to do? I am not certain, but I know this: I bet I am in the vast minority of people who watched all four games from the WAC men's basketball tournament yesterday. Yes, all of them. I will allow that my willingness to watch the games, in and of itself, is not qualification for a job. But I am, I daresay, able to speak intelligently on what I see--more intelligently than some of the wingnuts I hear on the radio (or those broadcasting the WAC tournament. Is 'fustrated' a word? Is a Mack truck the only object that can be used to describe the space between an open player and his defender?)
And I wouldn't be a complete homer, either. I live in Boise and graduated from BSU, and although I want them to win, I don't see how they can beat Utah State tonight. A few reasons why: Have you seen Jaycee Carroll shoot? My man is nasty. He appears to have only two offensive shortcomings: He cannot make a basket if he is (a) punched in the face or (b) kicking the ball toward the goal with his left foot. USU's bench seems to be far superior, as well. BSU has guys like Greene (or as I like to call him, 'No Right Hand'), Cunningham (well, he takes up a lot of space), and Sanchez (Spazzy). BSU's starting five is good, but it takes more than that to win.
One more piece of evidence I'm not a homer: I went to BYU and I would love to see them do well. But although they are a 'lock' to go to the NCAA tournament, you can pencil them down for a first round exit. Count on it. I will watch the game and root for them and get excited when they get ahead, but I am not deceived. They will lose.
I had to type this quickly--you know before the game starts. But I also gotta go, gotta focus on my job, my career. But someday I will have a job that has something to do with sports. Count on that, too.
[Rest assured that if either of my "predictions" fails to come true, I will come back and edit this post to make it look like they did.]
I've given a couple of careers a got shot: I've worked for more than ten years now as a Computer Technician/Network Administrator/IT Guy and have learned a great deal. I know how to reset passwords, plug things in properly, and believe someone when they say they had nothing to do with what is currently the problem. But can I say I love what I do? Not really.
I worked for a few years in Texas as a long-haul truck dispatcher, too. That was an education unto itself. I listened to gravelly voices on the phone say, "Come on, man, I don't get paid to sit. I get paid to roll." Or "Gimme something with lotsa miles and not a lot of drops." I even heard more than I cared to about the goings on of some seedy truck stop somewhere. But aside from the pager going off in the middle of the night and the stress I carried around wondering if all the loads where going to be delivered on time (for some reason, I was responsible to Sales whenever a driver was delayed or if our Shipping department was behind), it was the trip out to our scales to see why a truck was overweight on his tandem axle that told me to get out of there. I sat and watched as the driver locked up his rear brakes while his buddy crouched under the trailer to remove the locking pin for his sliding axles. He stood under there holding the pin out as the driver gassed it gently (if eighty-thousand pounds can be moved gently) to slide the trailer forward. That was enough. Let's get back to Idaho, I said.
So what do I want to do? I am not certain, but I know this: I bet I am in the vast minority of people who watched all four games from the WAC men's basketball tournament yesterday. Yes, all of them. I will allow that my willingness to watch the games, in and of itself, is not qualification for a job. But I am, I daresay, able to speak intelligently on what I see--more intelligently than some of the wingnuts I hear on the radio (or those broadcasting the WAC tournament. Is 'fustrated' a word? Is a Mack truck the only object that can be used to describe the space between an open player and his defender?)
And I wouldn't be a complete homer, either. I live in Boise and graduated from BSU, and although I want them to win, I don't see how they can beat Utah State tonight. A few reasons why: Have you seen Jaycee Carroll shoot? My man is nasty. He appears to have only two offensive shortcomings: He cannot make a basket if he is (a) punched in the face or (b) kicking the ball toward the goal with his left foot. USU's bench seems to be far superior, as well. BSU has guys like Greene (or as I like to call him, 'No Right Hand'), Cunningham (well, he takes up a lot of space), and Sanchez (Spazzy). BSU's starting five is good, but it takes more than that to win.
One more piece of evidence I'm not a homer: I went to BYU and I would love to see them do well. But although they are a 'lock' to go to the NCAA tournament, you can pencil them down for a first round exit. Count on it. I will watch the game and root for them and get excited when they get ahead, but I am not deceived. They will lose.
I had to type this quickly--you know before the game starts. But I also gotta go, gotta focus on my job, my career. But someday I will have a job that has something to do with sports. Count on that, too.
[Rest assured that if either of my "predictions" fails to come true, I will come back and edit this post to make it look like they did.]
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