by Phyllis
You may be aware that I wrote recently (don't split verb phrases, you know) about Andy Pettitte and his rejection of a one year, $10 million offer from the New York Yankees. I wondered how it was that a man could do that. And I didn't get into many numbers, but now I will. Because Andy Pettitte, people, has earned over $100 million dollars in his career, and his salary last season was $16 million. So this is what he had to say about the pay cut he was offered:
"Heck, the bottom line is I'm a man, and I guess it does take a shot at your pride a little bit."
Yeah, Andy, I get you. Totally. Those cheap bastards! How dare they make you feel like less of a man! How dare they chip at your self esteem like that! Make them pay for it. Surely there are some other teams out there lining up for your services. Drive the price up by flirting with them, and then come back to the Yankees and cash in!
On a related note, I read in an article today that Andy Pettitte signed a one year deal with the New York Yankees. One year, $5.5 million. There are bonus clauses in his contract, so if he doesn't get injured, pitches enough innings, and isn't lousy enough for them to give up on him, he can earn another $6.5 million.
Hmmm. Turns out there weren't other teams interested. Pettitte on the contract talks: "It just got to the point where Randy [his agent] called me and said, 'I think this is it, buddy.' It didn't take me long to decide because I knew that was where I was going to play."
Well played, Andy. Really. Great maneuvering.
And seriously, Andy, good luck this year. Break a leg!
Wait, no, don't do that. If you do, you'll only earn $5.5 million, and I don't know if you could feel like a man earning that.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
Rules
by Phyllis
I made these up:
Don't open the front door without looking out of the windows (we have no peephole) to see who it is. I love to follow it. And although I try to be discreet when I look, you know, so the knocker or ringer doesn't see me, it doesn't deter me from following another rule I made if they do:
Don't answer the front door if you don't recognize the person. So, yes, I have looked straight in the eyes of a stranger knocking on my door and then turned and left without answering. It is my house, I say, so I answer the door if I feel like it. If you are a stranger and are offended that I didn't answer the door when it was clear I was at home (we did share a meaningful glance, after all), please don't knock on my door. Or get to know me first. But I don't know how you are going to do that.
Another rule related to answering the door (which I had to create one day when a friend of MLB called and said she would be right over so when the doorbell rang minutes later I opened it without looking first): Don't buy anything that is sold door to door. So, no, I don't have a 'no soliciting' sign on the door. I hate solicitors but I simply say (sometimes after they have made their nice little pitch), "I'm sorry, I don't buy anything that is sold door to door. You know, it's just a rule I have." They don't often get it, but I have found that if you repeat the phrase up to seven times, they get the hint.
I will admit that the number of telemarketing calls I get has gone down over the past few years. But when they sneak through I use a strikingly similar rule to the last one I mentioned: Don't buy anything (or contribute to anything [or agree to anything]) that is offered over the phone. And use the same repeating techniques if necessary.
Another rule: Do not give your business to someone who has misspelled a word or used incorrect grammar in a flyer or coupon or something. Or if they just said something that annoyed you, marginally qualified grammar and spelling snob that you are. For example, I don't need to refinance my home loan, but rest assured when I do I will not be using the company whose commercial on the radio claimed they would "shoot straight from the hip" with me. They used this phrase to compare themselves to some of the other local lenders who might not be totally honest with me. So while I would indeed like my lender to "shoot straight" with me, I struggle with the connotation of "shooting straight from the hip." I infer it means you will be honest with me, but will do it quickly without considering the possible effects. And honestly, Clearwater Mortgage, I don't know if that will serve our best interests. And please take the food out of your mouth while you read the commercial.
Because I follow the previous rule, I will not use Lifelock to make sure my identity is safe. You see, their radio ad tells me that "At Lifelock, we work to prevent identity theft BEFORE it happens." (And, yes, the emphasis is theirs.) You work to prevent identity theft before it happens, eh? You mean you won't prevent it if my identity has already been stolen? Fine then. Forget you. You should have known the rules before you made your commercial.
I made these up:
Don't open the front door without looking out of the windows (we have no peephole) to see who it is. I love to follow it. And although I try to be discreet when I look, you know, so the knocker or ringer doesn't see me, it doesn't deter me from following another rule I made if they do:
Don't answer the front door if you don't recognize the person. So, yes, I have looked straight in the eyes of a stranger knocking on my door and then turned and left without answering. It is my house, I say, so I answer the door if I feel like it. If you are a stranger and are offended that I didn't answer the door when it was clear I was at home (we did share a meaningful glance, after all), please don't knock on my door. Or get to know me first. But I don't know how you are going to do that.
Another rule related to answering the door (which I had to create one day when a friend of MLB called and said she would be right over so when the doorbell rang minutes later I opened it without looking first): Don't buy anything that is sold door to door. So, no, I don't have a 'no soliciting' sign on the door. I hate solicitors but I simply say (sometimes after they have made their nice little pitch), "I'm sorry, I don't buy anything that is sold door to door. You know, it's just a rule I have." They don't often get it, but I have found that if you repeat the phrase up to seven times, they get the hint.
I will admit that the number of telemarketing calls I get has gone down over the past few years. But when they sneak through I use a strikingly similar rule to the last one I mentioned: Don't buy anything (or contribute to anything [or agree to anything]) that is offered over the phone. And use the same repeating techniques if necessary.
Another rule: Do not give your business to someone who has misspelled a word or used incorrect grammar in a flyer or coupon or something. Or if they just said something that annoyed you, marginally qualified grammar and spelling snob that you are. For example, I don't need to refinance my home loan, but rest assured when I do I will not be using the company whose commercial on the radio claimed they would "shoot straight from the hip" with me. They used this phrase to compare themselves to some of the other local lenders who might not be totally honest with me. So while I would indeed like my lender to "shoot straight" with me, I struggle with the connotation of "shooting straight from the hip." I infer it means you will be honest with me, but will do it quickly without considering the possible effects. And honestly, Clearwater Mortgage, I don't know if that will serve our best interests. And please take the food out of your mouth while you read the commercial.
Because I follow the previous rule, I will not use Lifelock to make sure my identity is safe. You see, their radio ad tells me that "At Lifelock, we work to prevent identity theft BEFORE it happens." (And, yes, the emphasis is theirs.) You work to prevent identity theft before it happens, eh? You mean you won't prevent it if my identity has already been stolen? Fine then. Forget you. You should have known the rules before you made your commercial.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Some Cheer-you-up News!
by Phyllis
Obviously I am aware of the free agent signings in Major League Baseball this off-season. I have previously blogged about a couple. So I know the amount of money that is being thrown around. But I wanted to write a little about one little news story today in the abstract. Or at least somewhat in the abstract.
Andy Pettitte today rejected a one-year, ten million dollar contract offer from the New York Yankees. Take a minute to digest that. Don't look up what he made last year, don't think about what other players make. Just reflect.
What? Someone offered him $10,000,000 for one year's salary. He (well, actually his agent) said no. How can this be? What kind of a world do we live in where a man can be offered that kind of money and refuse it? The only explanation that will make me feel better inside, and that only slightly, is that he is planning to retire, he is not up to the rigors of next season, he can't do it anymore. (He is 36, you know. And by the way, he does plan to play next year.)
Forget it. Even assuming that, it all makes me ill. It really does. Sick to my stomach. Depressed. Dissatisfied. And disappointed in my fellow man.
Not just at Andy, either. How have we as a society enabled this kind of thing to be? Can't we make this stop somehow? Yeah, I don't think so either. And it makes me ill. Have I said that already?
In all seriousness, what would you NOT do in order to earn ten million dollars over the REST OF YOUR LIFE? It's a pretty short list for me.
"Hey, Phyllis, money's not everything."
Reading a story like that sure makes me want to believe you.
Obviously I am aware of the free agent signings in Major League Baseball this off-season. I have previously blogged about a couple. So I know the amount of money that is being thrown around. But I wanted to write a little about one little news story today in the abstract. Or at least somewhat in the abstract.
Andy Pettitte today rejected a one-year, ten million dollar contract offer from the New York Yankees. Take a minute to digest that. Don't look up what he made last year, don't think about what other players make. Just reflect.
What? Someone offered him $10,000,000 for one year's salary. He (well, actually his agent) said no. How can this be? What kind of a world do we live in where a man can be offered that kind of money and refuse it? The only explanation that will make me feel better inside, and that only slightly, is that he is planning to retire, he is not up to the rigors of next season, he can't do it anymore. (He is 36, you know. And by the way, he does plan to play next year.)
Forget it. Even assuming that, it all makes me ill. It really does. Sick to my stomach. Depressed. Dissatisfied. And disappointed in my fellow man.
Not just at Andy, either. How have we as a society enabled this kind of thing to be? Can't we make this stop somehow? Yeah, I don't think so either. And it makes me ill. Have I said that already?
In all seriousness, what would you NOT do in order to earn ten million dollars over the REST OF YOUR LIFE? It's a pretty short list for me.
"Hey, Phyllis, money's not everything."
Reading a story like that sure makes me want to believe you.
Monday, January 5, 2009
That's Quite Enough, Thanks
by Phyllis
I like college football. I may even love it. But there are certainly a few things I could do without.
1. The running, jumping chest bump (or 180 spin back bump). Seriously. Find another way to celebrate. Go back to the good old high five.
2. The DB who gets up and waves his hand across the front of his helmet (like a windshield wiper or something) after he has just broken up a pass. (Most of the time he really had nothing to do with it; the ball was overthrown or dropped.)
3. The book, chapter, and verse from the Bible written in the eye black of every member on the team. Just write the whole verse on there, please. We all have HD.
3a. The offensive lineman with his whole face painted black or like Putty's face on Seinfeld. If it doesn't scare me, it is not scaring that freak across the line.
And lots of other stuff. Honestly, I just want to see these guys play football. Oh, and another thing. Keep showing Colt McCoy's family. That's very interesting.
I like college football. I may even love it. But there are certainly a few things I could do without.
1. The running, jumping chest bump (or 180 spin back bump). Seriously. Find another way to celebrate. Go back to the good old high five.
2. The DB who gets up and waves his hand across the front of his helmet (like a windshield wiper or something) after he has just broken up a pass. (Most of the time he really had nothing to do with it; the ball was overthrown or dropped.)
3. The book, chapter, and verse from the Bible written in the eye black of every member on the team. Just write the whole verse on there, please. We all have HD.
3a. The offensive lineman with his whole face painted black or like Putty's face on Seinfeld. If it doesn't scare me, it is not scaring that freak across the line.
And lots of other stuff. Honestly, I just want to see these guys play football. Oh, and another thing. Keep showing Colt McCoy's family. That's very interesting.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
More Predictions...Sort Of
by Phyllis
Remember the Spindoctors? They had that lead singer who looked like Shaggy (ask me to do my Shaggy impression sometime) and had a couple of "hits" in the early 90s. You know, "Two Princes" and the one that was just playing on my Pandora station, "Little Miss Can't Be Wrong." What a stupid band. What does this have to do with anything? Nothing at all.
I went 3-2 on my predictions for the first five bowl games. Not bad, but those were not hard games to call, so I probably should have gotten them all. Nice to see that I called the BYU game almost perfectly.
As I sat there at Slave's house watching it, I mentioned how frustrating it was to be a BYU football fan. I know every time I watch them play they will put the ball on the ground repeatedly and probably have a few unsportsmanlike penalties and horribly inopportune times. And their defensive secondary is always exposed. Oh well, I knew what was coming. Maybe I should stop being a fan. But I went there and I guess it is just a part of me now.
I also went to BSU and graduated from there, you know. And this is not a team that disappoints on the football field. They actually have won several games I expected them to lose. So as I have contemplated how to call tonight's game, I realize I believe in them, believe they can get it done--again. So here goes:
BSU vs. TCU in the Poinsettia (How DO you pronounce that, anyway? Geez!) Bowl. I take BSU in a (relatively) low scoring game: 27-23.
Sheraton Hawaii Bowl, Hawaii vs. Notre Dame. Have I ever mentioned how I feel about Notre Dame. It mirrors the way I feel about the NY Yankees. So even if I thought they would win, I would nae pick them. And I think Hawaii will be geeked about this. Hawaii wins, and Notre Dame's bowl streak continues.
Motor City Bowl, Florida Central vs. Michigan Atlantic. Wait, that's not it. Florida Michigan vs. Central Atlantic, right? Who knows, but I'll take whichever team is from Michigan, since they are playing in Detroit.
More later, but I have to figure a subtle way to remind Slave I need him to let me let my boys destroy his downstairs again just so I can watch the BSU game.
Remember the Spindoctors? They had that lead singer who looked like Shaggy (ask me to do my Shaggy impression sometime) and had a couple of "hits" in the early 90s. You know, "Two Princes" and the one that was just playing on my Pandora station, "Little Miss Can't Be Wrong." What a stupid band. What does this have to do with anything? Nothing at all.
I went 3-2 on my predictions for the first five bowl games. Not bad, but those were not hard games to call, so I probably should have gotten them all. Nice to see that I called the BYU game almost perfectly.
As I sat there at Slave's house watching it, I mentioned how frustrating it was to be a BYU football fan. I know every time I watch them play they will put the ball on the ground repeatedly and probably have a few unsportsmanlike penalties and horribly inopportune times. And their defensive secondary is always exposed. Oh well, I knew what was coming. Maybe I should stop being a fan. But I went there and I guess it is just a part of me now.
I also went to BSU and graduated from there, you know. And this is not a team that disappoints on the football field. They actually have won several games I expected them to lose. So as I have contemplated how to call tonight's game, I realize I believe in them, believe they can get it done--again. So here goes:
BSU vs. TCU in the Poinsettia (How DO you pronounce that, anyway? Geez!) Bowl. I take BSU in a (relatively) low scoring game: 27-23.
Sheraton Hawaii Bowl, Hawaii vs. Notre Dame. Have I ever mentioned how I feel about Notre Dame. It mirrors the way I feel about the NY Yankees. So even if I thought they would win, I would nae pick them. And I think Hawaii will be geeked about this. Hawaii wins, and Notre Dame's bowl streak continues.
Motor City Bowl, Florida Central vs. Michigan Atlantic. Wait, that's not it. Florida Michigan vs. Central Atlantic, right? Who knows, but I'll take whichever team is from Michigan, since they are playing in Detroit.
More later, but I have to figure a subtle way to remind Slave I need him to let me let my boys destroy his downstairs again just so I can watch the BSU game.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Bowl Predictions #1
by Phyllis
Before I get going on a few bowl game predictions, let me give you one more idea of a Christmas present to get for me. Go here. That's what I'm talking about, and it's the gift that keeps on giving.
And just so you know, I will be predicting who will win the game, not who covers the spread or whatever. Straight winners.
Bowl #1: EagleBank Bowl, Wake Forest vs. Navy. By the way, they played during the regular season, so here is your second chance at a yawner. Feel free to take a nap, since you had to set your alarm to get up in time to watch it. Anyway, Wake Forest doesn't turn it over 6 times and wins, probably 31-21. (Who I want to win: I don't care.)
Bowl #2: New Mexico Bowl, Colorado State vs. Fresno State. Another yawner, with 5th place teams from the WAC and MWC against each other. Proof there are too many bowl games. "Congratulations on a crappy season! Come to New Mexico for a bowl game!" Colorado State wins 31-28 (unless they call the game after 17 OTs without a winner), giving tens of people ammunition for their argument that the MWC is better than the WAC. (Who I want to win: CSU.)
Bowl #3: magicJack St. Petersburg Bowl, Memphis vs. South Florida. More proof. Memphis comes to St. Pete to play a Florida team. I don't know how Memphis can possibly win this, but I am picking them anyway. I am certainly not picking the 6th place team from the Big East! How awful do you have to be to place 6th in that league? Anyway, Memphis pulls off the shocker, and congratulates themselves with fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches for turning around a season that started 0-3. (Who I want to win: I don't care.)
Bowl #4: Pioneer Las Vegas Bowl, BYU vs. Arizona. Even before the game starts, we are in for a delicious treat: "The Most-Watched TV Star in the World" will be singing the national anthem. And you know, BYU should just put this game on their released schedule every year. My predictions (yes, I made it plural on purpose)? Arizona 38-28 this year, BYU 35-21 over Cal next year. (Who I want to win: BYU.)
Bowl #5: R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl, Southern Miss vs. Troy. A whole team against one guy? That doesn't seem fair, even if the team is Southern Miss, who sucks. So Troy wins. (Who I want to win: Troy.)
And yes, 4 of these first 5 bowls should not be played, this one included. But believe me, if I had cable, I would be watching them all. As it is, I will have to invite myself somewhere to catch the BYU game. I am secretly hoping to take it in at my buddy Slave's house (no, not that Slave), but he doesn't know it yet. Or that I plan to watch the BSU game there, too.
That's it for the first batch of predictions. I will post again before BSU and TCU kick it off. I need the time until then to decide if I think BSU can pull this off. My brain says no, but I didn't think they would beat Oregon, either.
Before I get going on a few bowl game predictions, let me give you one more idea of a Christmas present to get for me. Go here. That's what I'm talking about, and it's the gift that keeps on giving.
And just so you know, I will be predicting who will win the game, not who covers the spread or whatever. Straight winners.
Bowl #1: EagleBank Bowl, Wake Forest vs. Navy. By the way, they played during the regular season, so here is your second chance at a yawner. Feel free to take a nap, since you had to set your alarm to get up in time to watch it. Anyway, Wake Forest doesn't turn it over 6 times and wins, probably 31-21. (Who I want to win: I don't care.)
Bowl #2: New Mexico Bowl, Colorado State vs. Fresno State. Another yawner, with 5th place teams from the WAC and MWC against each other. Proof there are too many bowl games. "Congratulations on a crappy season! Come to New Mexico for a bowl game!" Colorado State wins 31-28 (unless they call the game after 17 OTs without a winner), giving tens of people ammunition for their argument that the MWC is better than the WAC. (Who I want to win: CSU.)
Bowl #3: magicJack St. Petersburg Bowl, Memphis vs. South Florida. More proof. Memphis comes to St. Pete to play a Florida team. I don't know how Memphis can possibly win this, but I am picking them anyway. I am certainly not picking the 6th place team from the Big East! How awful do you have to be to place 6th in that league? Anyway, Memphis pulls off the shocker, and congratulates themselves with fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches for turning around a season that started 0-3. (Who I want to win: I don't care.)
Bowl #4: Pioneer Las Vegas Bowl, BYU vs. Arizona. Even before the game starts, we are in for a delicious treat: "The Most-Watched TV Star in the World" will be singing the national anthem. And you know, BYU should just put this game on their released schedule every year. My predictions (yes, I made it plural on purpose)? Arizona 38-28 this year, BYU 35-21 over Cal next year. (Who I want to win: BYU.)
Bowl #5: R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl, Southern Miss vs. Troy. A whole team against one guy? That doesn't seem fair, even if the team is Southern Miss, who sucks. So Troy wins. (Who I want to win: Troy.)
And yes, 4 of these first 5 bowls should not be played, this one included. But believe me, if I had cable, I would be watching them all. As it is, I will have to invite myself somewhere to catch the BYU game. I am secretly hoping to take it in at my buddy Slave's house (no, not that Slave), but he doesn't know it yet. Or that I plan to watch the BSU game there, too.
That's it for the first batch of predictions. I will post again before BSU and TCU kick it off. I need the time until then to decide if I think BSU can pull this off. My brain says no, but I didn't think they would beat Oregon, either.
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