Roger Clemens: My Hero

Ten things I believe about Roger Clemens:

1. He has never used performance-enhancing drugs of any kind.
2. The fact that his wife has admitted using HGH doesn't hurt his argument that he never used performance-enhancing drugs.
3. Andy Pettitte (who admits using PEDs) did in fact "misremember" a PED-related conversation with Roger Clemens.
4. He gave his boys really cool names (Koby, Kory, Kacy, Kody) that don't reflect any self-importance.
5. He thought Mike Piazza's broken bat was a ball when it came flying toward him in the 2000 World Series.
6. He thought he was playing wiffle in the back yard of my childhood home when Mike Piazza's bat--I mean ball--came toward him. (See, when I played with my brothers as a child, you could pick up a batted ball and throw it at a baserunner. If you hit him between bases, he was out.)
7. He did NOT have an inappropriate relationship with that woman, Miss McCready, even if she says he did.
8. The success, adoration by millions of fans, and nearly incalculable riches have NOT gone to his head and skewed his view of his fellow man; we will believe what he says because he said it was the truth. Why wouldn't we believe him?
9. He has a cool haircut and is a smart dresser.
10. He earned his salary in 2007 for the Yankees. For the record, his salary was $28,000,022 (and how clever it is to negotiate your jersey number as the last two digits of your salary!) for the year, prorated to $18.5 million for the part of the season he did not play. He made 17 starts, went 6-6, and pitched almost 100 innings, with a 4.18 ERA. Who wouldn't pay $18.5 million for that?