by Phyllis
You may be aware that I wrote recently (don't split verb phrases, you know) about Andy Pettitte and his rejection of a one year, $10 million offer from the New York Yankees. I wondered how it was that a man could do that. And I didn't get into many numbers, but now I will. Because Andy Pettitte, people, has earned over $100 million dollars in his career, and his salary last season was $16 million. So this is what he had to say about the pay cut he was offered:
"Heck, the bottom line is I'm a man, and I guess it does take a shot at your pride a little bit."
Yeah, Andy, I get you. Totally. Those cheap bastards! How dare they make you feel like less of a man! How dare they chip at your self esteem like that! Make them pay for it. Surely there are some other teams out there lining up for your services. Drive the price up by flirting with them, and then come back to the Yankees and cash in!
On a related note, I read in an article today that Andy Pettitte signed a one year deal with the New York Yankees. One year, $5.5 million. There are bonus clauses in his contract, so if he doesn't get injured, pitches enough innings, and isn't lousy enough for them to give up on him, he can earn another $6.5 million.
Hmmm. Turns out there weren't other teams interested. Pettitte on the contract talks: "It just got to the point where Randy [his agent] called me and said, 'I think this is it, buddy.' It didn't take me long to decide because I knew that was where I was going to play."
Well played, Andy. Really. Great maneuvering.
And seriously, Andy, good luck this year. Break a leg!
Wait, no, don't do that. If you do, you'll only earn $5.5 million, and I don't know if you could feel like a man earning that.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
Rules
by Phyllis
I made these up:
Don't open the front door without looking out of the windows (we have no peephole) to see who it is. I love to follow it. And although I try to be discreet when I look, you know, so the knocker or ringer doesn't see me, it doesn't deter me from following another rule I made if they do:
Don't answer the front door if you don't recognize the person. So, yes, I have looked straight in the eyes of a stranger knocking on my door and then turned and left without answering. It is my house, I say, so I answer the door if I feel like it. If you are a stranger and are offended that I didn't answer the door when it was clear I was at home (we did share a meaningful glance, after all), please don't knock on my door. Or get to know me first. But I don't know how you are going to do that.
Another rule related to answering the door (which I had to create one day when a friend of MLB called and said she would be right over so when the doorbell rang minutes later I opened it without looking first): Don't buy anything that is sold door to door. So, no, I don't have a 'no soliciting' sign on the door. I hate solicitors but I simply say (sometimes after they have made their nice little pitch), "I'm sorry, I don't buy anything that is sold door to door. You know, it's just a rule I have." They don't often get it, but I have found that if you repeat the phrase up to seven times, they get the hint.
I will admit that the number of telemarketing calls I get has gone down over the past few years. But when they sneak through I use a strikingly similar rule to the last one I mentioned: Don't buy anything (or contribute to anything [or agree to anything]) that is offered over the phone. And use the same repeating techniques if necessary.
Another rule: Do not give your business to someone who has misspelled a word or used incorrect grammar in a flyer or coupon or something. Or if they just said something that annoyed you, marginally qualified grammar and spelling snob that you are. For example, I don't need to refinance my home loan, but rest assured when I do I will not be using the company whose commercial on the radio claimed they would "shoot straight from the hip" with me. They used this phrase to compare themselves to some of the other local lenders who might not be totally honest with me. So while I would indeed like my lender to "shoot straight" with me, I struggle with the connotation of "shooting straight from the hip." I infer it means you will be honest with me, but will do it quickly without considering the possible effects. And honestly, Clearwater Mortgage, I don't know if that will serve our best interests. And please take the food out of your mouth while you read the commercial.
Because I follow the previous rule, I will not use Lifelock to make sure my identity is safe. You see, their radio ad tells me that "At Lifelock, we work to prevent identity theft BEFORE it happens." (And, yes, the emphasis is theirs.) You work to prevent identity theft before it happens, eh? You mean you won't prevent it if my identity has already been stolen? Fine then. Forget you. You should have known the rules before you made your commercial.
I made these up:
Don't open the front door without looking out of the windows (we have no peephole) to see who it is. I love to follow it. And although I try to be discreet when I look, you know, so the knocker or ringer doesn't see me, it doesn't deter me from following another rule I made if they do:
Don't answer the front door if you don't recognize the person. So, yes, I have looked straight in the eyes of a stranger knocking on my door and then turned and left without answering. It is my house, I say, so I answer the door if I feel like it. If you are a stranger and are offended that I didn't answer the door when it was clear I was at home (we did share a meaningful glance, after all), please don't knock on my door. Or get to know me first. But I don't know how you are going to do that.
Another rule related to answering the door (which I had to create one day when a friend of MLB called and said she would be right over so when the doorbell rang minutes later I opened it without looking first): Don't buy anything that is sold door to door. So, no, I don't have a 'no soliciting' sign on the door. I hate solicitors but I simply say (sometimes after they have made their nice little pitch), "I'm sorry, I don't buy anything that is sold door to door. You know, it's just a rule I have." They don't often get it, but I have found that if you repeat the phrase up to seven times, they get the hint.
I will admit that the number of telemarketing calls I get has gone down over the past few years. But when they sneak through I use a strikingly similar rule to the last one I mentioned: Don't buy anything (or contribute to anything [or agree to anything]) that is offered over the phone. And use the same repeating techniques if necessary.
Another rule: Do not give your business to someone who has misspelled a word or used incorrect grammar in a flyer or coupon or something. Or if they just said something that annoyed you, marginally qualified grammar and spelling snob that you are. For example, I don't need to refinance my home loan, but rest assured when I do I will not be using the company whose commercial on the radio claimed they would "shoot straight from the hip" with me. They used this phrase to compare themselves to some of the other local lenders who might not be totally honest with me. So while I would indeed like my lender to "shoot straight" with me, I struggle with the connotation of "shooting straight from the hip." I infer it means you will be honest with me, but will do it quickly without considering the possible effects. And honestly, Clearwater Mortgage, I don't know if that will serve our best interests. And please take the food out of your mouth while you read the commercial.
Because I follow the previous rule, I will not use Lifelock to make sure my identity is safe. You see, their radio ad tells me that "At Lifelock, we work to prevent identity theft BEFORE it happens." (And, yes, the emphasis is theirs.) You work to prevent identity theft before it happens, eh? You mean you won't prevent it if my identity has already been stolen? Fine then. Forget you. You should have known the rules before you made your commercial.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Some Cheer-you-up News!
by Phyllis
Obviously I am aware of the free agent signings in Major League Baseball this off-season. I have previously blogged about a couple. So I know the amount of money that is being thrown around. But I wanted to write a little about one little news story today in the abstract. Or at least somewhat in the abstract.
Andy Pettitte today rejected a one-year, ten million dollar contract offer from the New York Yankees. Take a minute to digest that. Don't look up what he made last year, don't think about what other players make. Just reflect.
What? Someone offered him $10,000,000 for one year's salary. He (well, actually his agent) said no. How can this be? What kind of a world do we live in where a man can be offered that kind of money and refuse it? The only explanation that will make me feel better inside, and that only slightly, is that he is planning to retire, he is not up to the rigors of next season, he can't do it anymore. (He is 36, you know. And by the way, he does plan to play next year.)
Forget it. Even assuming that, it all makes me ill. It really does. Sick to my stomach. Depressed. Dissatisfied. And disappointed in my fellow man.
Not just at Andy, either. How have we as a society enabled this kind of thing to be? Can't we make this stop somehow? Yeah, I don't think so either. And it makes me ill. Have I said that already?
In all seriousness, what would you NOT do in order to earn ten million dollars over the REST OF YOUR LIFE? It's a pretty short list for me.
"Hey, Phyllis, money's not everything."
Reading a story like that sure makes me want to believe you.
Obviously I am aware of the free agent signings in Major League Baseball this off-season. I have previously blogged about a couple. So I know the amount of money that is being thrown around. But I wanted to write a little about one little news story today in the abstract. Or at least somewhat in the abstract.
Andy Pettitte today rejected a one-year, ten million dollar contract offer from the New York Yankees. Take a minute to digest that. Don't look up what he made last year, don't think about what other players make. Just reflect.
What? Someone offered him $10,000,000 for one year's salary. He (well, actually his agent) said no. How can this be? What kind of a world do we live in where a man can be offered that kind of money and refuse it? The only explanation that will make me feel better inside, and that only slightly, is that he is planning to retire, he is not up to the rigors of next season, he can't do it anymore. (He is 36, you know. And by the way, he does plan to play next year.)
Forget it. Even assuming that, it all makes me ill. It really does. Sick to my stomach. Depressed. Dissatisfied. And disappointed in my fellow man.
Not just at Andy, either. How have we as a society enabled this kind of thing to be? Can't we make this stop somehow? Yeah, I don't think so either. And it makes me ill. Have I said that already?
In all seriousness, what would you NOT do in order to earn ten million dollars over the REST OF YOUR LIFE? It's a pretty short list for me.
"Hey, Phyllis, money's not everything."
Reading a story like that sure makes me want to believe you.
Monday, January 5, 2009
That's Quite Enough, Thanks
by Phyllis
I like college football. I may even love it. But there are certainly a few things I could do without.
1. The running, jumping chest bump (or 180 spin back bump). Seriously. Find another way to celebrate. Go back to the good old high five.
2. The DB who gets up and waves his hand across the front of his helmet (like a windshield wiper or something) after he has just broken up a pass. (Most of the time he really had nothing to do with it; the ball was overthrown or dropped.)
3. The book, chapter, and verse from the Bible written in the eye black of every member on the team. Just write the whole verse on there, please. We all have HD.
3a. The offensive lineman with his whole face painted black or like Putty's face on Seinfeld. If it doesn't scare me, it is not scaring that freak across the line.
And lots of other stuff. Honestly, I just want to see these guys play football. Oh, and another thing. Keep showing Colt McCoy's family. That's very interesting.
I like college football. I may even love it. But there are certainly a few things I could do without.
1. The running, jumping chest bump (or 180 spin back bump). Seriously. Find another way to celebrate. Go back to the good old high five.
2. The DB who gets up and waves his hand across the front of his helmet (like a windshield wiper or something) after he has just broken up a pass. (Most of the time he really had nothing to do with it; the ball was overthrown or dropped.)
3. The book, chapter, and verse from the Bible written in the eye black of every member on the team. Just write the whole verse on there, please. We all have HD.
3a. The offensive lineman with his whole face painted black or like Putty's face on Seinfeld. If it doesn't scare me, it is not scaring that freak across the line.
And lots of other stuff. Honestly, I just want to see these guys play football. Oh, and another thing. Keep showing Colt McCoy's family. That's very interesting.
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