Web Fun, Part 1

by Phyllis

Several years ago, before such colossal time-wasters as blogs, youtube, and facebook were popular, I occupied some of my interweb time surfing up some pretty splendid netpages and such. At least I thought so.

I used to look daily at Ada County arrest reports, a five day report of which can always be found here. Every so often I would hit the jackpot and see someone I knew or knew of. I saw mugshots of an old business associate my dad used to have, a waitress at a local sushi joint we all know, and even Darryl's half-sister (she was not a fan of Prince's Batdance, in case you were wondering). I saw lots more people, of course, but it was best when I saw someone I knew.

But I had to stop visiting the site. For one, MLB started to get on my case. "Why do you get on that website every day?" she would say, and I couldn't answer honestly. What could I say? "Too see my fellow man at his worst, his most bummed out, his lowest. You know, to feel better about myself." I don't know if that was entirely true anyway.

I also stopped because I started to recognize repeat offenders, know their weaknesses, and probably why they were arrested. One time at work I saw some co-workers visiting the site and they called me over. "Dude. Check out THIS guy!" They almost fell over when I came back with "Oh, Steven Richard Archambeau is in jail again? What is it this time, possession of drug paraphernalia?"

Confession

by Phyllis

This is very difficult. I mean, I have done many things in my life I am not proud of. It's just that I get angry at myself when I repeat the same mistake. I know I shouldn't do it, but I cave in. Yes, I know I am human, but it still sucks.

And the thing I am talking about is something I promised myself I would never do again. It made me feel bad. I mean really physically ill, know what I mean? I can't take it back now and it has had devastating results. Aside from feeling sick inside, my self esteem has taken a huge hit. I struggle with self esteem anyway, so this just made me feel worthless.

Okay, enough of the cryptic prelude: last Tuesday, I went somewhere I shouldn't have gone. This place is like my own personal Mos Eisley, because I really believe, like Obi-Wan said, "you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy." Okay, so the people there aren't villains, I guess, but what they are doing is wrong. It is NOT healthy, and they need to stop. But when I look at them, I can see they are not as disappointed with themselves for being there as I am. The smiles on their faces tell me otherwise. And that adds to how bad I feel. It is just SO wrong.

But I need to let this out, so I am no longer hiding a painful secret, so someone will reach out to me and help. Please don't hate me and DO see this as a cry for help. And here it is:

Last Tuesday, I went and had lunch at The Great Wall Restaurant.

Something's Wrong

by Phyllis

There's something wrong with me. Seriously.

I don't care how to get Michelle Obama's toned arms, I don't need a running commentary on Chris Brown and Rihanna, I am not interested in whatever Jennifer Aniston, Brad Pitt, and Angelina Jolie are or are not doing or saying to each other.

I have never watched "The Bachelor" or "Wife Swap" or "Dancing With the Stars" or really anything of that ilk. I get no pleasure from looking at outfits or reactions from The Oscars. And yet it seems millions of Americans do all these things.

Me? I am quite tired today because I stayed up last night and watched a semi-grainy re-broadcast that started at 11pm of a basketball game played in Las Cruces, New Mexico, of which I already knew the outcome!