See Hiccus

by Phyllis

Look, lady, don't get upset with me because I mispronounced your daughter's name.

You will get no sympathy from me. I have had my name mispronounced my whole life. And even though any primate with half a brain could take three seconds looking at my name and realize there are only TWO possible pronunciations, somehow every person I have ever known has gone with either the incorrect of the two possibilities, or some off the board bastardization.

Plus, ma'am, keep in mind, this is my surname. You know, handed down from generation to generation? So it may look funny or foreign but I had no choice. Neither did my parents. They just gave me what they already had.

You, however, chose one of those clever, cool, alternative spellings of a common English name. What were your hopes or expectations in doing this? I couldn't possibly guess. But please calm yourself, hunker down, and prepare yourself for a lifetime of people botching your sweet girl's name. It really is your fault.