Looking for a Positive Spin

by Koozown

I’m guessing the typical Spin Class Instructor doesn’t like it very much when people join their class and put earbuds in and listen to their own music. In fact, I know one instructor who has threatened to throw such a person out of her class. Me? I am willing to take that risk. You see, I believe what Simon Cowell said the other night on Idol to be true (I’ll paraphrase the British sweetheart): “The world would be a very boring place if we all liked the same things.” And I hate the music spin instructors play.

In general I am opposed to Movie Soundtrack songs. That is a general rule for me. And in today’s iTunes world where I can buy a single song that I like without buying the whole album, I hope to never own another entire soundtrack. And it wouldn’t break my heart if others borrowed a page out of that book. Show some discernment people. One way or another. Example: I bought “Decode” by Paramore. Probably my favorite song by them. Ok, it is my favorite. It was released as part of the Twilight soundtrack. I have not seen that movie. I have not read any of the books in that series. I don’t plan to read any books in that series. But that song is killer. So I own it. But I don’t own any other songs from that soundtrack (ok, not entirely true, I do own the other Paramore song on it). I don’t expect everyone to like or own that song. I don’t care. I love it. I’ve been known to bliss out to it. And that Hayley got pipes. But I might hit the floor if I ever heard it in Spin Class. Instead we hear the theme song from that School of Rock movie. In what bizarre world is that even considered a song? It’s not a song; it’s a movie gimmick. Not a very good gimmick at that. But I’ve heard it two weeks in a row now.

That is precisely why I come prepared with my own tunes and my own earphones. I can enjoy “Hallie and Henry” by Say Hi to Your Mom while the rest of the poor saps spin through some dull number from the dull “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” soundtrack. Oh, I’m sorry. You liked that movie? I hated it. But I hated the experience worse. Some genius behind me in the theater kept yacking along impressing his date by pointing out all the veneer-thin references to The Odyssey. It finally got so bad I turned around and said: “Excuse me professor, would you mind waiting until after the movie is over to begin your lecture? Some of us are still trying to find a single redeeming bullet point about this miserable flop.” He was speechless at last, and a few people booed me. Hmmm…[self reflection] it appears I have never gotten past that episode.

While having to hear that soundtrack play on as the class ended and we pretended to clean our bikes might seem like the low point of my day, it actually gets worse. After class the instructor shared a moment with one of the spinners:

Spinner: I love this song.
Instructor: Oh, yeah. It’s great. The whole soundtrack is great.
S: I loved that movie.
I: Me too. Would you like me to burn it for you?
S: No thanks, I own the movie. I love the Coen brothers.
I: I meant the soundtrack. Would you like me to burn it for you?
S: What’s funny is my brother doesn’t own it and he loves the Coen brothers.
I: Well I can burn you a copy for him.
S: No thanks, I can just lend him my DVD.
I: I meant the Soundtrack.

I make a subtle move to crank up the volume on my iPod as high as it will go. Ahhh, bliss.