Not Even Close

by Phyllis

It might not seem like a big deal, but I will admit I spent more than a couple minutes in 1993 thinking about music as I thought about my impending nuptials with MLB. No, I was not concerned about what we would hear playing in the background or who might perform at the reception. (This was decided for me, and as it turns out, although I have a musically talented family, some girl I didn't know played the piano and and another unknown sang a song.)

But I was thinking about the kind of music I like, and what MLB's tastes were. Trust me, people. It's an important issue. Seriously, what if she had been a devotee of Rush, or Def Leppard, or Phil Collins? Suppose she really liked Vanilla Ice, had been to several Exposé concerts, or had all the Garth Brooks CDs? Honestly, how is such a person to be worked upon?

Fortunately we had no huge issues and found we had similar tastes--truly a key ingredient in the recipe for wedded bliss. Even some of the slight differences in our musical tastes have been reconciled over the years. MLB has begun to like some music I like, and I have followed her lead, as well.

There is one band I like, however, that was a source of confusion for MLB: The Icicle Works. She never had an interest when I would listen to them, and didn't put forth much effort to understand who they were. As a matter of fact, she repeatedly referred to them as Icehouse, a travesty and disgusting untruth which made me as angry as Lady Catherine de Bourgh. Each time MLB said it I would set out 'at once to insist upon having such a report universally contradicted.'

"How could you confuse those two bands?" I would bellow, and soon we would be discussing Icehouse's ridiculous "Crazy" video. (Go ahead and watch it all, if you want some good laughs. A few key items to enjoy: the woman's utter ecstasy after making her song request, the hat, the worthy and powerful mullet, the pants--wow, it's all nearly too much!) But, alas! a hilarious video and the king of all mullets do not a good band make.

So I would play a song for MLB by Icicle Works, "The Cauldron of Love" for example. What a great song! So I would ask her: "Do you want to hear more? A Factory in the Desert, Little Girl Lost, Walking With a Mountain, Evangeline, Hollow Horse, Who Do You Want For Your Love? Clearly there is no comparison." Surely MLB would remember from now on, right. I sure hoped so.

Last week a horrible thing happened. I was enjoying the Icicle Works station I created on Pandora. It was cycling through some good stuff, you know, New Order, Echo & the Bunnymen, Tears for Fears, Aztec Camera. Then one sweet tune ended and a terrible cacophony began to assault my ears. I quickly maximized the Pandora window and stared in amazement: it had queued up "Crazy" by Icehouse!

Bad job, Pandora! Are you confused, too? Thumbs down!