Web Fun, Part 2

by Phyllis

On to Web Fun, Part 2, but I must revisit Web Fun, Part 1 for a second. As it turns out, Darryl is desirous to make one thing clear: she who hated Prince's Batdance and made the Ada County arrests page is NOT his half-sister, but his STEP-sister. His desire to correct this error screams out clearly: "This person does not share my blood!"

Oddly, an argument could be made that she is of MY blood. How? Well, there was once a young girl (a beautiful and talented sister of mine, as it turns out) who completed that binding and sacred transaction of becoming Batdancehater's "blood-sister". To my knowledge, this bond has not been dissolved or annulled through official channels. So there you have it.

And now, a little more fun on the web. The other website which used to occupy hours of my idle time (when through a huge effort I could find idle time) was right here. From this website, you can look up various information regarding houses in our dear county. I will admit it was a little more fun when one of the pieces of information included was the last time the house was purchased and how much it was sold for. But there is still some good stuff: assessed value, square footage, tax districts, pictures. Yeah, I know--only good stuff if you are curious about stupid things like that.

A weird thing, though: if you were to look up my house on the website you would see that as far as Ada County is concerned my house is 2598 square feet. This is grossly wrong. There are over 600 square feet (I ballparked it) that are not counted for some strange reason. The report does show 664 sq. ft. that are counted as something called "Car Storage," but I am not clear on what that means.

It is all quite confusing. I remember looking at houses in my neighborhood, and each was advertised as having bedrooms, bathrooms, living rooms, etc. But all of them were also said to have a 2- or 3-car garage. I don't know what this is. These areas are clearly meant to be part of the house, and should be counted in calculation of square footage. They are ideal for putting all the gross, disgusting, broken-down, and useless items we don't want dirtying and cluttering up the bedroom, family room, or kitchen. Right?

Adding to the confusion is another misnomer used to describe the paved part of one's property that leads directly to this "car garage" thing. Why is it called a driveway when it is obviously a location for storing one's automobiles? The unfortunate use of "driveway" falsely leads some people to think of driving across this area and into the garage. But why on earth would you do that?

And names like "road" or "street" or "avenue" don't help either. Many of these near my home should be renamed to "driveway" or "lot" for it is clear this is another place to store vehicles. Looking out my front window it looks like that area right outside Bronco Stadium, and I believe it is called a "lot." How about some consistency here?

Alas! I must confess I am adding to the confusion. Upon first driving to our new home, I drove our cars into this poorly named 3-car garage thing and left them there. I found it highly convenient to have them there and have been flouting convention ever since. I know I am wasting several hundred square feet of space by choosing to keep the vehicles cooler in summer and warmer in winter, and I am grossly negligent in helping my "street" look like the parking lot it should be.

Sorry about that.